All Hands, No Robs
Ok, bear with me because this story requires a little setup. Earlier this week we had a meeting with our office manager about Baltimore. While we were in the front office no one sat by Rob, which wasn’t that big of a deal because it’s an open space & there were a few places to sit. But when we moved into the manager’s office, which was considerably smaller, everyone found places to sit that were far away from Rob. Which is funny because he was sitting in the middle of the room, Sheri Robin & another writer actually fought over one of two seats that were farther away from him. It hurt Rob’s feelings & made me happy.
So Robert is starting to realize he’s not the most popular person in the office. In an effort to remedy this he’s been trying to be funnier, his attempts have been going horribly wrong. Again, hilarious.
Today we had an all hands meeting scheduled. I don’t like all hands meetings. Mostly because I don’t like the people I work with, but in this particular get together it was because they were serving pizza. The last thing I want to see is a bunch of overweight old fogies slapping their jaws together gumming on some pizza while trying, unsuccessfully, to keep most of it in their mouths. That’s just rude.
Oddly enough Robert J’s crazy antics worked in my favor. Because things are going to be a little slow in the office until we travel, Rob has been given a number of odd tasks to perform that keep him out of trouble & far away from anything important. For the meeting he was charged with moving liters of soda from the refrigerator to the conference room, bad idea. While Wendy & I were coming back from break we saw Rob walking them over, & he dropped a bottle. With his clumsy, chubby, butterfingers starting the gears of that pea sized brain of his, he shook up a couple bottles of soda because he thought it would be funny.
In his excitement to see the fruition of his labor, Robby J waited around in the conference room for twenty minutes. By the time everyone started gathering around for the meeting Rob had already eaten two of the pizzas, most of the sodas were flat from his constant shaking of them, & the one that did explode got all over the main presenter & his laptop. With the presenter’s outfit & company equipment ruined the meeting was canceled & we were all e-mailed the boring ass power point that we would have had to sit through.
I’m not sure if Rob got in trouble for this, but I haven’t seen him since the meeting. If I did see him I’d want to thank him for a job well done, but I’d probably just end up telling him to “Fuck off, & get back to work.”
spamwarrior said,
09/07/2009 at 7:57 pm
O. M. G.
HE ATE TWO PIZZAS??
…
deathinfrance said,
09/07/2009 at 8:17 pm
Robbert J is a big boy, to say the least. I drew a picture of him a while back, you can find it on my old blog here:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KsrgIh8EJtg/SgicY121OwI/AAAAAAAAABg/1OiKvrwKnEM/s1600-h/Rob.jpg
Thanks for stopping by spamwarrior, keep fighting the good fight. I also really dig your blog, even if it’s about a bunch of girly things that my manliness prevents me from having a sound understanding of… righhhht…
spamwarrior said,
11/07/2009 at 1:24 pm
Ahhh… I can see it now.
thanks for dropping by.
bschooled said,
09/07/2009 at 10:16 pm
Ok, I just looked at the picture and realized I know that guy.
You never forget a nose like that….
deathinfrance said,
10/07/2009 at 2:31 pm
Hahah,
I’m sorry that you now realize my frustration. Though I’ve never given much attention to his nose, he has many more “noticeable” features.
Biblical David said,
09/07/2009 at 10:27 pm
Who exactly do you like in the office? haha…
deathinfrance said,
10/07/2009 at 2:32 pm
Well it certainly aint you…
lucentabella said,
10/07/2009 at 3:46 am
so….your meeting plans fell flat….?
deathinfrance said,
10/07/2009 at 2:44 pm
HA! HAHAhahah, never have I enjoyed a pun as much as I just enjoyed that one Lulubelle. Damn, I’m not sure if I can beat that, but I’ll give it a go…
No matter how you “slice” it, we were all happy to get out of that meeting. It was amazing how fast everyone was able to “shake” a leg out of there. Sorry that statement was full of “cheese.” Usually I fall asleep during these meetings, so my work wants me to contact “Dr. Pepper” to see if I’m narcoleptic. I don’t know why they think we’d care about such boring things, they must be doing “coke” in the bathroom… & I think I’ll stop it there…
alantru said,
10/07/2009 at 4:19 am
Well, Rob’s trying… Very, very, trying…
deathinfrance said,
10/07/2009 at 2:48 pm
Zing! Hahaha, thanks Al. I knew I could count on you. I hear you’re having issues with your own pizza-faced party. How are those summer interns?
alantru said,
10/07/2009 at 4:34 pm
Their spirits are beginning to break – and quite quickly and dramatically, I might add. Today I found Kathy weeping by the photocopier; Cathy hiding under a desk, oh, and word is that KC has just locked herself in the bathroom and is making some sort of “humming” sound. Stressful times for these poor kids.
deathinfrance said,
10/07/2009 at 4:41 pm
Ehhh, they’ll get over it. We all went through that our first few months working in an office.
Gryphon said,
13/07/2009 at 6:19 pm
I dislike meetings because I always feel as though I am expected to “perform” which I don’t like to do and then when I am not called upon, I get my feelings hurt because I was not expected to perform.
Narcissism, can be hell.
Gryphon said,
13/07/2009 at 6:19 pm
You are linked in my blogroll
deathinfrance said,
13/07/2009 at 8:16 pm
Haha, I see where you’re going with that Gryph, I on the other hand am the office Where’s Waldo. I don’t stand out, I don’t make a ruckus, but if you try really hard you might be able to see me walking around aimlessly. Meetings aren’t that different, I don’t make much noise unless I have something to say. This particular meeting though would have been boring either way.
Good luck being narcissistic, I can say from years of personal experience it one of the better personality traits to have.
Ok, now that we have our general pleasantries exchanged, I’d like to formally thank you for stopping by. Your kind words do wonders for my ego! Haha. For any curious minds out there Gryphon has a great blog that’s defiantly worth checking out. Just recently, in fact, he was explaining to me how Swiss scientists are a joke & how he’s collided more partials during his last dump than the Geneva lab has since 2006! Brilliant man, check it out.