Fund-raise the Roof
So for some reason the powers-that-be decided to place Redneck Barry in charge of our holiday fundraiser. Every year we get a few dollars together & put it towards a good cause. I think last year we raised money for neglected children… or something…
Anyway, because Barry is in charge this year our money is going to military personnel who are overseas for the holidays. Now, look, I’m going to sound like an ass for saying the things I’m about to say & I just want all of you to know, though I have some issues with the way this country is run I do love America & what I was raised to think that stood for. I grew up an army brat, & to this day I still have a great deal of respect for people who devoted their lives to the armed services, it just wasn’t for me.
So that being said, fuck helping people who are in the military. Are you fucking serious?!? It’s their fucking jobs to be over there, no one asked them to enlist. The only reason they’re there is because of the life choices they made that got them to that point. I have absolutely no sympathy for people in their situation. I mean they’re at least getting paid to be over there. I’m not going to feel sorry for them, especially when there are people in our neighborhood that would benefit much more from our charity. Personally I’ve always supported breast cancer research, because well, tities are awesome (On a serious note, I’ve lost three grandparents to cancer & my mother & sister run a high risk for breast cancer, so I really support breast cancer research & awareness. That & gay rights! Because tities are awesome, but two pairs of tities rubbing on one another are even better)! Shit, if we’re going off of that logic I’ve only been at home for three month out of the last nine. Where the hell is my care package?
To add insult to injury, Barry asked his good buddy (only buddy) Rob to help make this fundraiser happen. So what’s Rob’s plan? He wants to send them care packages full of food! Only a fat fuck like Rob would think of that. Dude, they have a mess hall! They get fed. Shit, when my mom left our dad home to watch us we’d eat MREs (meals ready to eat, they’re like military rations) they’re not that bad.
So never mind all the work Rob should be doing, what really gets to me are the constant e-mails he sends out whenever someone gives him money. It’s doesn’t even seem like we have a choice. He’s walked around twice asking people for money. Don’t get me started on the way he addresses people in his e-mails either. He makes it sound like he’s the only one contributing!
Rob “We, I’ve manage to raise another $100 for the troops.”
Fuck you Rob, that’s not your money. It was also fun to read the countless e-mail suggesting we invest into gifts more practical than peanut butter & playing cards, like I don’t know, phone cards & web cams.
delicate flower said,
14/01/2010 at 1:35 pm
I get where you’re coming from.. But it’s almost like if you’re not patriotic you must be a spy…
I agree that there are other people in our communities who need help to a greater degree. And, I emphasize our communities because I have a hard time with people who will gladly give money to save an Ethiopian but ignore the impoverished in their own backyard.. Oh, don’t let me go on that soapbox.
I sent a care package to a soldier in Iraq once. I sent him chili pepper Xmas lights, some beef jerky, Maxim magazines and stuff like gum and small packets of toothpaste (his mom said they couldn’t easily get those). Why did I send it? ‘Cause this young 22 year old was hot! and if he was really taken w/ my generosity on his return I thought he might offer to ‘give’ me a little something.!!!!
ps; note that I didn’t even comment on your love of titties!!
deathinfrance said,
14/01/2010 at 5:18 pm
But DF, you have no idea how much that Maxim means to that young man! Honestly I have very close friends over there & the one thing I constantly hear is how bored they are!
Yeah, why didn’t you mention anything about breast cancer awareness DF? ;D
delicate flower said,
14/01/2010 at 6:01 pm
Good question, guess I got sidetracked on your love of titties ( you started it!).
giving to causes we have the most connection to makes alot of sense. I’m impressed that you support breast cancer and so sorry to hear that so many people in your life have that disease.
deathinfrance said,
14/01/2010 at 9:22 pm
Hahaha, yeah. I guess it was the funniest part of the blog. Too bad I don’t have anything more to write about. I think I’ll miss it (blogging not Rob).
Thanks for the empathy DF, but as of right now, the ladies in my life are doing well. I think being aware of the possibility has helped a lot. Though my girlfriend has been a little more cautions since reading this blog. She’s been offering to check my prostate like every night since I told her.